The best and most beloved long-running sitcoms are the shows with strong and vibrant main characters. Friends was one of these, with six main characters who were funny, lovable, and very unique. One of these was the very controversial Ross Geller, whom every Friends fan is sure to have a strong opinion about. Ross had a very particular personality, which led him to be either loved or hated.
Ross Geller started out as the classic nice guy who had feelings for his former high school crush. However, as Friends went on, Ross became a hilarious and dynamic character with many irritating and insufferable qualities. He was very self-righteous, arrogant in his intelligence, and pedantic, with a perpetual need to be right — this led to many great quotes from him. These are the 10 best Ross Geller quotes, ranked.
10 “Mississipilessly?”
Season 10, Episode 3 (2003)
Ross Geller had many iconic moments in Friends, a great deal of which involved him embarrassing himself in very specific ways. In Season 6, he over-whitened his teeth, leading them to glow in the dark under a date’s black light. Season 10, episode 3, “The One with Ross’s Tan,” took this concept up a notch, with hilarious results. After seeing Monica’s new spray tan, Ross decided to get one of his own.
Of course, Ross’s tan did not turn out the way that he had hoped. While getting the spray tan, Ross counted for two long, counting by Mississippis instead of just with normal numbers. This resulted in him becoming way too tan on the front of his body. When comparing his spray tan to others who had actually done it correctly, Ross was told that they had counted to five. He responded, “Mississippislessly?”
9 “The lotion and powder have made a paste!”
Season 5, Episode 11 (1999)
Another one of Ross’s embarrassing social faux pas occurred in Season 5, episode 11, “The One with All the Resolutions.” In the episode, each of the six friends either picked a New Year’s Resolution or had the other friends pick one for them. Phoebe resolved to pilot a commercial jet, Joey aimed to learn guitar, and Monica tried to take more pictures of the group.
Chandler and Rachel were each tasked with not making fun of their friends and not gossiping, respectively. Ross tried to do something new every day. One of Ross’s new things was buying and wearing a pair of leather pants. When the pants got too tight on a date, Ross went to the bathroom and used lotion and powder to try to mitigate the effects. On the phone, he told Joey, “The lotion and powder have made a paste!”
8 “I tell you, when I actually die, some people are going to get seriously haunted.”
Season 9, Episode 17 (2003)
One of the funniest and most annoying things about Ross was his pettiness. In Season 9, episode 17, “The One with the Memorial Service,” Ross and Chandler had a prank war where they posted lies about each other on their college alumni site. After Chandler pretended that Ross was dead, Ross was upset that nobody from their college cared or commented on the post.
Being who he was, Ross decided to throw a fake memorial service for himself to see if anyone would show up. Angry about the extremely poor turn out, Ross said, “I tell you, when I actually die, some people are going to get seriously haunted.” This was a very funny response for Ross, due to his pettiness and obsession with small things like this. It was very in character for him to throw a fake funeral for himself in retaliation, and it also resulted in a memorable Friends quote.
7 “Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault.”
Season 6, Episode 2 (1999)
Starting with Season 6 of Friends, Ross developed a bit of a reputation after getting divorced for the third time. His friends constantly teased him about his multiple marriages and divorces, and he was extremely self-conscious about it. Ross always had trouble taking accountability for his actions, likely stemming from how he could do no wrong in his parents’ eyes. In Season 6, episode 2, “The One where Ross Hugs Rachel,” Ross was hesitant to end his marriage to Rachel because he did not want to have three divorces.
In order to prove to Ross that this would not matter with dating, Phoebe got three random women to say whether or not they would date him. During this process, Ross explained his divorces while trying to avoid blame. “First marriage, wife’s hidden sexuality, not my fault. Second marriage, said the wrong name at the altar, a little my fault. Third marriage… well, they really shouldn’t allow you to get married when you’re that drunk and have writing all over your face, Nevada’s fault.”
6 “‘O’ is for ‘Oh wow.'”
Season 10, Episode 10 (2004)
Ross and Rachel were always the central on-and-off relationship in Friends, for better or for worse. In Season 10, Friends really switched things up by having Rachel date Joey instead, even after having a child with Ross. Ross had a very difficult time adjusting to this, even though he was dating Joey’s ex-girlfriend, Charlie. This was the central plot of Season 10, Episode 2, “The One where Ross is Fine.”
In this episode, Ross tried to get past the weirdness by inviting Rachel and Joey over for a double date with him and Charlie. Ross made fajitas and margaritas, but he ended up getting really drunk, leading to some really funny moments. Ross burned his hands by carrying the steaming hot plate of fajitas without oven mitts, and he gave a ridiculous speech about love. “Ah, love… L-O-V-E. L’ is for life, and what is life without love? ‘O’ is for ‘Oh wow!’ ‘V’ is for this very surprising turn of events which I am still fine with, by the way.”
5 “You threw my sandwich away? My sandwich?”
Season 5, Episode 9 (1998)
Ross was always a funny character, but there was something especially hilarious after seeing him at his lowest point in Season 5. Ross was already really struggling after his divorce from Emily and the loss of his apartment, only for things to reach a new low in Season 5, episode 9, “The One with Ross’s Sandwich.” After someone ate Ross’s leftover Thanksgiving sandwich at work, he got really upset.
Phoebe wrote a very threatening note for Ross to put on his next bag lunch, which ended up getting him in trouble with his boss. During the meeting with his boss, Ross found out that his boss was the one who ate his sandwich. Even worse, his boss could not finish Ross’s sandwich, so he threw the rest away. When Ross found out, he shouted, “You threw away my sandwich? My sandwich?” This was an especially funny line, both for David Schwimmer’s delivery, and for how his voice was shown to be heard beyond just the office.
4 “Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.”
Season 6, Episode 10 (1999)
Ross was always taking the smallest and most ridiculous things very seriously. It was one of the best parts of his character, leading to some hilarious moments where Ross really got on his friends’ nerves. In Season 6, episode 10, “The One with Unagi,” Rachel and Phoebe took a self-defense class. Upon hearing about this, Ross felt the need to prove to them that he knew more about the subject than they did.
Ross claimed to know the true secret to physical combat and self-defense, and it was really funny. “Unagi is a state of total awareness. Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.” This was hilarious, partly because he was just using a word for eel, and partly because Ross was so overwhelmingly confident in what he was telling them.
3 “Don’t you worry about me falling asleep; I still have your letter!”
Season 4, Episode 1 (1997)
Ross and Rachel’s breakup was truly devastating after she found out that he had slept with Chloe. It was one of the saddest episodes of Friends. Of course, this eventually became material for many jokes related to their relationship’s downfall. The two of them briefly got back together at the end of Season 3, with Ross agreeing to Rachel’s terms in a long letter that he did not actually read.
In Season 4, episode 1, “The One with the Jellyfish,” Ross finally read the letter, and was enraged to find out that Rachel expected him to take full responsibility for their breakup. This caused him to rehash the argument once again, where they fought about both the breakup and her “18 pages front and back” letter. When Rachel suggested that Ross would have trouble sleeping without her, he fired back, “Don’t you worry about me falling asleep; I still have your letter!”
2 “Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!”
Season 5, Episode 16 (1999)
Ross was always very set in his ways, such as when he went to buy new furniture in Season 5, episode 16, “The One with the Cop.” Emily had made Ross get rid of all of his things when they were planning to make the marriage work. After the marriage fell apart, Ross needed a new couch. When he was buying the couch, though, Ross learned that the delivery charges were very expensive.
Ross decided to take the couch back to the apartment himself, with help from Rachel. That was difficult enough, but the real issue came when it was time to carry the couch up the many stairs of Ross’s apartment building. Even with the help of Chandler, the three friends struggled to carry the couch up the stairs. Ross was, of course, very bossy about it, shouting, “Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!” To this, Chandler responded, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”
1 “We were on a break!”
Multiple Episodes
Ross and Rachel had an iconic will-they-won’t-they relationship at the beginning of Friends, before finally becoming a couple part of the way through Season 2. They were happy together until he ultimately got very jealous and possessive, leading Rachel to call a break. While on the break, Ross slept with someone else and tried to hide it from Rachel, putting an end to their relationship.
Ross and Rachel briefly got back together a few months later, but Ross was too stubborn and unwilling to own up to his actions, so it did not last. Every time Rachel brought up their past breakup, he would insist, “We were on a break!” This became Ross’s catchphrase, with him regularly referencing the break. The worst instance was when all of the friends were jokingly apologizing to each other by proposing, to mock Chandler. Ross pushed it too far by jokingly apologizing to Rachel for the break and then mock-proposing to her.
