COVID first-timer Jon Stewart ‘is risen,’ feeling Donald Trump’s pain

Jon Stewart was back at the news desk on Monday’s The Daily Show after canceling his appearance last week for health reasons.

“My name is Jon Stewart, and I am risen from COVID hell,” he said in the opening moments. “First-timer, did not care for it.”

Then, as seen in the video below, Stewart cut straight to the presidential campaign of former President Donald Trump, which is grappling with Vice President Kamala Harris replacing incumbent President Joe Biden at the top of the Democratic ticket in the presidential election.

“We do make fun of Donald Trump occasionally, and with the ribbing and the joshing and the pulling the pants down, and the pointing, but he is in pain right now,” Stewart said, before cutting to news reports saying Trump is upset about Harris’ poll numbers.

“A month ago, he was basically already the f—ing president,” Stewart said. “He had cheated death, started a new ear accessory trend.”

The anchor credited Trump with “trying out some good catastrophizing on Harris,” but then showed footage of the former president using the very same insults against Harris that he previously used for Biden, including Trump’s prediction of a stock market crash, World War III, and the destruction of American suburbia.

“This is just a remix?” the comedian asked, incredulously. “Dude, you can’t just find and replace Biden with Kamala. That’s lazy apocalypse-ing.”

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Fighting Biden is all Trump knows, Stewart said. He pretended to get choked up.

“This is sad. It’’s like seeing an old man talking to an empty spot on the bench. And then you realize that’s where his wife used to sit,” he joked. “He would give up everything for just one more moment with Crooked Joe.”

Stewart had a solemn message for Trump: “He’s not coming back.”

To illustrate his point, Stewart showed video of Biden spotted relaxing in a beach chair this week in Rehoboth, Delaware.

“He’s just sitting there at the beach, having an Arnold Palmer,” Stewart said. “You can hear him sighing over the waves. Does this look like a man marshaling his forces to take back the nomination — or filming a Corona commercial?”

Stewart is hosting the show again on Mondays through the presidential election on Nov. 5.