Redditor Claims Boyfriend Thinks It’s Her ‘Responsibility’ to Wake Him

A Redditor is looking for advice after claiming that she and her boyfriend have a difference of opinion when it comes to making sure he wakes up on time in the morning.

In a post on the “AITA” subreddit, which translates to “Am I the a——,” a Redditor, who described herself as a 25-year-old woman, claimed that her boyfriend, 25, has ADHD and struggles with getting up on time for work.

“He sleeps through all of his alarms, which usually means he is late for work,” the Redditor wrote. “Sometimes it´s only 10-15 minutes, but it can also stretch to 1 hour. His boss likes him and has given him plenty of chances, but yesterday he got his last warning that if he doesn´t show up on time he will lose his job.”

The Redditor said that over the past year they’ve “had a couple of discussions/arguments,” claiming that her boyfriend “believes it’s my responsibility, as his girlfriend, to wake him up.”

“But I don’t,” she wrote. “I don’t think it’s my responsibility.”

The Redditor went on to say that by now, she feels like her boyfriend should be able to “find some method that works,” and that having to wake him up makes her feel less like a girlfriend, and more like his mother or caregiver.

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However, the Redditor went on to say that “this doesn’t mean I refuse to help him whatsoever.”

“I have done plenty of research to find alternative methods, but either it didn´t work or he refuses to do it,” she claimed. “And I do wake him when his alarms go off, but he decides to go back to sleep right after.”

She also claimed that he can be “grumpy/angry” in the morning no matter what she does, which doesn’t help.

“But when his boss gave him his last warning yesterday, I felt so much guilt. Because had I just woken him up, and been persistent, he wouldn´t be in this situation,” she wrote. “So I am at an impasse. Is it my responsibility, am I in the wrong for not helping, or should he, as an adult, be able to do this by himself?”

In an update, she added that ultimately, “I need to know he can take care of himself in case something happens.”

Commenters didn’t hit the snooze button on their strong opinions about the matter, which ranged from problem-solving input to objections over the behavior of the “grown man.”

One commenter, who said that they had ADHD, recommended the app “Alarm Clark Xtreme.”

“That helped me to get a hold on my abuse of the snooze function,” read the reply, while another commenter wrote: “One thing that has helped me waking up on time and with a fresh, clear head, is a wake-up light (from Philips) on full brightness.”

All in all, there are nearly 3,000 comments on the post — but one thing many replies had in common was the conviction that the Redditor was “NTA,” which means “not the a——.”

“Don’t feel guilt for things that are his responsibility,” one commenter wrote. “He is a grown man. Don’t let him guilt you either. If he were single he wouldn’t even have the option of someone waking him, but regardless it’s not your fault! Time for him to put on his big boy pants.”