Generation Z is terrified of phone calls. So much so that a recent survey by Uswitch found a quarter of 18 to 34-year-olds have never answered their own phone.
Parents also report having to explain call conventions to teenagers, including the fact that you do actually need to say something – anything – if you deign to pick up.
Yes, this is all very annoying for the over-35s, but which generation doesn’t have its own phone habits? The Silent Generation’s preference for answering the landline with a string of numbers dies hard, as does millennial emoticon excess *inserts blushing emoji*.
In other words, there is no clearer way to show your age than through your phone use. The voicenotes (or lack of) say it all.
Which heinous phone-call crimes does your generation commit? Fran Hornak dials up the discomfort
SILENT GENERATION
(current age, 79-96)
The telephone? Can’t stand the damn thing. Why not just come round?
BOOMERS
(current age 60-78)
Despite being partial to Googling things over dinner (Boomers love ‘gadgets’, including their smartphones), this generation is unlikely to romanticise the phone call. This is because they don’t realise that ‘giving someone a ring’ is now seen as quaint at best, intrusive at worst. Family WhatsApp groups frequently cause irritation, too, with Boomers prone to telling Adult Child 1 about the photo that Adult Child 2 put up on the chat – when both siblings are chat members.
Most irritating Boomer habit
Leaving voicemails. Specifically, introducing themselves at the start of the message. Please understand – your millennial daughter already knows it’s you. She has just screened your call, and nobody except you (and the estate agent) leaves her voicemails anyway. Another bugbear of the time-poor millennial is the Boomer habit of summarising any conversation at length before ending a call. Why? We’ve just been through it!
Habit Boomers find most irritating in others
The way their millennial children don’t listen to their answerphone messages, apparently on principle, and instead call them back to tell them that they haven’t had time to listen to their voicemail. And they’re the ones accusing you of narcissism! Also the way the young end a call by saying, ‘OK, love you, BYE! Bye, bye, byebyebyebyebye.’ Why? Once is plenty.
GEN X
(current age 44-59)
These ex-ravers pride themselves on their IRL spontaneity. They are proud to remember prank calls, the clatter of coins in the payphone and the days before Caller ID (AKA ‘landline roulette’, lol!). They also like telling their Gen Z kids about how they used to actually speak to their best friend for hours while they both watched 1980s TV in their own homes. And what was on TV was a surprise, too! They still enjoy a phone chat, though they now text first to check it’s a good time. Occasionally, they’ll make an unsolicited call to that same best friend. Still got it!
Most irritating Gen X habit
Disabling blue tick, because they see it as ‘surveillance culture’. Interestingly, they also like to know the exact coordinates of their teenage children at all times.
Habit Gen Xs find most irritating in others
When their younger, millennial sister sends a stream of WhatsApps, each five words long, while they’re still trying to reply to the first one, so they end up having four separate simultaneous conversations. This is what social media has done to our attention spans, people!
MILLENNIALS
(current age 28-43)
As ‘the busy generation’, millennials own the multitasking voicenote. Only other millennials with ‘typing fatigue’ appreciate these streams of consciousness, which are not unlike therapy or podcasting (two other millennial hobbies). It’s great because they both get to hear each other’s voices, without having to actually listen! The downside is that they constantly lose their train of thought mid-monologue, because they’re always trying to walk a dog or ignore a child at the same time. Annoying for the recipient, who now has them on double speed, but provides thrilling affirmation that they are indeed peri-menopausal.
Most irritating Millennial habit
Starting WhatsApp group chats with fellow parents for the sole purpose of planning how to curtail their kids’ future smartphone use, these kids being in Reception.
Habit Millennials find most irritating in others
Younger millennials resent Gen Z for owning their call-phobia so publicly: ‘Hello! We’re the snowflake generation!’ Geriatric millennials are often irrationally offended by people holding their phone flat, like a little diving board, in front of their mouth.
GEN Z
(current age 12-27)
As above, this age group nurses a deep fear of the unexpected phone call. According to the Uswitch survey, Gen Z believes that a ringtone can only signal bad news. Fair enough. But why is this an excuse not to pick up?
Most irritating habit
Not picking up. Get over it!
Habit Gen Zs find most irritating in others
Presuming to – breathe – jeopardise their mental health by calling with no warning. Cue social-media posts saying, ‘Only call me if I love you’.
