In 2015, my boyfriend (now husband) was accepted to a graduate program in Southern California.
With nothing tying me down to our home state of Connecticut, I moved across the country with him. We stayed in California for over six years — and I spent most of my 20s there — but we ultimately chose to return to New England in 2021.
Yes, California really is that expensive
Carly Neil
It costs a lot to live anywhere nowadays, but Southern California takes that notion to a whole new level.
Perhaps our biggest motivator for moving back home was California’s affordability (or lack thereof). According to World Population Review, the Golden State ranks third among the most expensive US states to live in in 2024.
Connecticut is also pricey (it falls in the top 15), but once you live in Southern California, most of the country feels like a discount.
From Los Angeles to San Diego, the entire region of Southern California is well above average regarding median home price, yet another metric of unaffordability.
We definitely felt the strain of struggling to pay the rent in one of the most expensive areas in the nation.
I prefer the quieter, slower pace of New England
Carly Neil
We lived in Orange County, one of the most densely populated counties in the nation, just south of Los Angeles, one of the most populous cities in the US.
It was very rare to find any sense of escape or solitude in the immediate area. Traffic and light pollution were constant.
Meanwhile, in Connecticut, there are far more small towns where things close at 8 p.m. It’s normal to drive miles without passing another car.
Those may be drawbacks for some people, but it’s peaceful to me.
We missed being close to family
Carly Neil
Another major draw to moving back to Connecticut was the proximity to our families.
My husband and I were both born and raised in Connecticut. We had no immediate family on the West Coast.
Although we built a chosen family with dear friends over the years in California, we felt a near-constant undercurrent of homesickness. This was only exacerbated by the coronavirus pandemic.
Flights to the East Coast were also expensive, which caused us much financial stress whenever we visited home (see my point above about how expensive it is to live in California).
The weather in California was beautiful, but it became monotonous
Carly Neil
I would never suggest someone move across the country only because of the weather. However, it became a factor in why we grew tired of living in California.
The warm, sunny weather is as lovely as everyone says, but after growing up in New England, I realized I much preferred the changing seasons.
Fall, for example, is my favorite time of year in Connecticut. But in California, the fall only means more heat — sometimes this season has the hottest days of the year.
Every September, I grew jealous of my friends on the East Coast enjoying cooler temperatures and hot lattes while I was melting.
As relieved as I am to be back home, I would consider moving back to California one day
Carly Neil
There are a lot of things in California I miss — the beautiful and diverse landscape, the low humidity (especially in the summer), the major attractions (I was about 30 minutes from Disneyland), the rich variety of cultures, the food, and my friends.
California became our home in the years we lived there, and I still feel like we barely scratched the surface of all the state has to offer.
So, if opportunity knocks, I’m very open to heading back west.
In the meantime, however, I’m very happy with my decision to return to Connecticut. The slower pace, relative affordability, and proximity to our families have been huge gains since moving back.
And if I do find myself back in California one day, I will be making the trek back to New England every fall.
